Social anxiety and relationships

Social anxiety is a hot topic these days, especially now with the rise of “TikTok Doc” videos on mental health. It can have a significant impact on multiple areas of our lives, especially during formative years of being a teenager and young adult. Social anxiety can put a damper on friendships, romantic relationships, and general social interactions. Not having control over the anxiety can lead to feelings of isolation, lack of self-confidence, and loneliness. In this blog, we will cover the impact social anxiety can have, as well as strategies that can be useful in improving social confidence.

Impact

1. Friendships

   Social anxiety can create difficulty in starting and maintaining friendships as individuals may find it challenging to hold conversations or participate in social activities. The difficulty can often lead to avoidance, causing a cycle of fear and creating fewer opportunities for ourselves to form and upkeep friendships.

   Another symptom of social anxiety can be a fear of judgment. Negative evaluations from peers, whether real or perceived, can prevent those with social anxiety from feeling safe to fully engage. This can, of course, lead to alienation and be a blocker for developing healthy relationships.

   A different way that social anxiety shows up in friendships is via overdependence on a small circle of friends. One dealing with social anxiety may cling to a small group of friends that feel comfortable for them, leaving little room for personal expansion and diversification of their social experiences.

2. Dating

   One manifestation of social anxiety in dating relationships is avoidance of dating altogether. The key to knowing if this is actually based in anxiety is the presence of fear of rejection or negative judgment from a potential partner. It can be a barrier to romantic connection.

   Another way this can look within a dating relationship is difficulty expressing emotions, leading to misunderstandings and/or unspoken expectations that are failed to be met. This can be incredibly frustrating for all parties involved.

   One more symptom that social anxiety shows in dating relationships is constant overthinking and self-doubt. One or both partners can have a lack of confidence in the relationship, which makes building trust and emotional intimacy incredibly difficult.

3. Social interactions

   Social anxiety in a more general social interaction can look like an intense fear of public speaking or performing, which can hinder one in school or work settings.

   There can also be an avoidance of social gatherings due to the intense overwhelm they feel about how they will interact with people or be perceived. This can limit exposure to diverse social situations like parties, community gatherings, or even small groups.

   Symptoms can also manifest physically through the body in some of the following ways: sweating, trembling, increased heart rate, nervousness, and more.

Improvement strategies

1. Therapy

   The most research-backed therapies, to date, to treat social anxiety are cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure therapy. These two therapies help individuals learn to challenge their negative thought habits and, over time, confront their fears in a controlled environment. Walking through techniques with a professional can help speed up progress, as compared to figuring things out on our own.

2. Mindfulness and relaxation

   Incorporating regular mindfulness and relaxation techniques can also be very helpful. This can look like meditation, controlled breathing, yoga, and more, to help reduce stress and promote calmness. When we are at a more regular baseline of calm, we have more resilience toward stressful or challenging situations. Mindfulness-based therapy can also be a good way to practice new techniques with the guidance of a trained mental health professional.

3. Social skills training

   Learning and putting effective communication skills into practice can be an easy boost for social confidence and help those experiencing anxiety navigate their social interactions with more ease.

4. Gradual exposure

   Gradually exposing ourselves to challenging social situations can be very helpful in lessening our anxiety. This can start with the least intimidating scenario to a more challenging one, “leveling up” as we go. This is a great way to build resilience and social confidence.

5. Support groups

   Getting into an in-person or virtual support group for those who experience social anxiety can put us in a place where we feel understood and seen, creating a sense of belonging. This can also offer opportunities to encourage each other through our journeys.

Everyone experiences social anxiety in different ways, as there can be a variety of symptoms. Strategies to improve social skills will also vary from person to person, as everyone is unique. Seeking professional guidance from a licensed mental health provider could be the key to unlocking a personalized plan to navigate our particular symptoms and pain points. Halle Crutch is a LPC-Associate under the supervision of Mary Dainty providing therapy services for teen girls and young adult women for the anxiety spectrum. Working on a plan that is developed especially for you could be the key to overcoming social anxiety and its impact. Ready to explore therapeutic options? Request an appointment to see if working with Halle would be right for you!