Overcoming perfectionism
Perfectionists, stand up! This blog is for you and for me both. Perfectionism is a pervasive issue among our teens and young adults and it can have a significant effect on our wellbeing. It can cause stress on our mental health, physical health, and our relationships. It usually manifests as an obsessive and/or excessive concern about making mistakes, fear of failure or embarrassment, or setting unrealistic standards that are too high for oneself to achieve. This blog will be focused on the strategies and techniques we can implement to help us overcome perfectionism over time. Focus on the following:
Promote a growth mindset
A growth mindset is one in which we believe that our skills and habits are on a continuum, rather than fixed. This is great news, too, because it means we can always improve on the places that are causing us trouble. A mindset of growth is one that sees mistakes as opportunities for education and adjustment. There is immense value in giving our best effort and pursuing resilience over flawless work.
Set realistic, attainable goals
There is value in setting goals that we can realistically achieve, rather than shooting for perfection. When we break our tasks into smaller chunks, they can be more manageable. When our goals feel achievable, it can alleviate immense pressure that accompanies reaching perfection.
Implement self-compassion
We have to forgive ourselves. Keep this in mind: if we treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would give to a friend, we tend to have nicer self-talk and feel more optimistic. This can be a huge struggle with perfectionism, so it takes practice to make it a habit.
Focus on the importance of imperfection
Imperfection is what makes us human. Our individual imperfections are what separate us from others, making us unique. Take a moment to read about the most successful people around you or interview people in your life that you look up to. Within stories of success, we can hear all of the inevitable imperfections or course corrections that made the success that much more savory.
Encourage healthy habits
A lifestyle of balance includes daily movement, regular meals, and adequate sleep. These three are the building blocks to our mental and emotional resilience. Taking care of our physical well-being can reduce the negative effects that stress and perfectionism can put on us.
Learn time management skills
Proper time management is helpful in reducing the pressure to complete perfection in a small timeframe. When we give ourselves a reasonable time block for each of our activities, we are better at accomplishing what we need to do while balancing it with what we want. Make a small list of what tasks need to be accomplished, how much time they will require, and reverse-engineer the numbers to find how much time you can allot in your schedule each week to those tasks.
Utilize mindfulness techniques
Daily mindfluness is a crucial part of wellbeing. Meditation, journaling, breathing techniques, and yoga are some examples of ways we can start integrating mindfulness into our every day routine. If you need more ideas on how to get started with mindfulness, check out my blog on coping skills.
Practice healthy risk-taking
Risk-taking can sound like the opposite of what we want to do if we are dealing with perfectionism. However, when we step out of what is comfortable for us and try new things, we can develop a deeper sense of resilience. This can give us a much healthier view toward failure, because the pressure is off when we are new to something. We can kind of trick ourselves into being okay with figuring things out as we go.
Limit comparison
Social media has greatly impacted the amount in which we compare ourselves with others. Read my blog on tech and anxiety for more on that conversation. Our self-perception can easily be warped if we are not mindful of our social media use. Online presence is not reality. We have to maintain a clear understanding of that if we are going to stop comparing ourselves.
Seek guidance from a therapist
When perfectionism becomes distressing to our daily lives, it’s time to talk with a therapist. Specifically, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be helpful in addressing issues of perfectionism. Overall, find a therapist that tailors your work to you and is focused on achieving the goals you have for therapy.
Overcoming perfectionism is not something that happens overnight. It is a process to undue habits that we have practiced most of our lives. Have patience and consistency with new habits and maintain some accountability! When we have open and supportive environments to change and grow, we are much more comfortable with our process.
Halle Crutch is dedicated to helping teen girls and young adult women in Southlake, Texas, and beyond with overcoming perfectionism and the anxieties that accompany it. With evidence based practices, Halle is a supportive, steady help in areas that need guidance. Ready to work with Halle? Request an appointment.
